“Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop.” ~ Lewis Carrol, Alice in Wonderland.
O God, What shall I do?
I am at the total end of myself.
Wonderful, dear child!
Now start your new beginning with me. ~ Ruth Harms Calkin.
Sometimes you find a poem or a quote that perfectly sums up how you feel. This is me, right now. I’m at the end of myself and my life as I’ve always known it.
It’s a fresh new Spring and it’s different. This is the first full year my kids are college age or older. Becoming independent. Self-sufficient. Needing me less. Figuring out their path and leaving me to figure out mine.
Now that the kids are older, I’ve got time in spades. I waste it. I haven’t quite figured out how to harness it and make a pleasant disciplined routine out of it. Time evades my grasp like trying to catch the wind.
Then another problem arises. I can’t make up my mind exactly what I want to do. I start a new blog. I take it back down…
…and now I’m starting it back up again.
I picked up a paperback at a used bookstore a while back. I was reading skimming through it today and came upon this: “The nurturing female, according to Sheehy, defers achievement. This is the woman “who postpones any strenuous career efforts to marry and start a family. She intends to pick up on extrafamilial pursuit at a later point.” But problems arise when she feels it is time to pick up again. So often, during the early part of this pattern of postponement, there is a diffusion of her identity; as a result, the nurturer has a great deal of inner preparation to do before she can pinpoint outer goals. She is understandably vague and apprehensive.” (Kalellis, Ph.D., Peter M. A New Self-Image. Argus Communications. 1982. p.125.)
Since I’m presently sitting at home healing up from a broken ankle, I’ve had time to think and to pray about what direction my life should take next. I’m definitely vague and apprehensive. But I’m figuring it out. Step by step. Piece by piece.
So I’m starting the blog up again. I’m replacing fear of the future with curiosity over what direction my life could take. And I’m looking forward to the changes. Should I open an Etsy shop? Should I start writing my column for the local paper again? What other new things am I missing? I’m enjoying seeing movement in my life again after being stagnate for a while.
I’m wondering. Have you ever felt stuck? Have you ever had problems figuring out what you should do next? If so, how did you get unstuck?
Live your Lemonade Life,
Copyright I Love My Lemonade Life 2014